Being purposeless is something quite beautiful. It is something meaningless, without any plans or aims. There is no “end game” for the human race, no ultimate objective that humanity as a whole must reach. What we feel we must do is only an instruction given to us from our parents, from their parents. We must love, be happy and succeed; But no one ever stops to ask – Why?
Let’s look at love. Love is a desired result for ambitions and efforts in life; a goal. But for what purpose do we love? Love has no aim, no plan put in place where it must exist. It just is. Love is purposeless. It has been said:
If you can show the purpose then love is not there, it is a business, it is a bargain.
There is no need for love, the world will not spontaneously combust if it is not a factor in your life. One can live quite happily on their own; seeking company with friends, family, and their cats or dogs. So much emphasis has been put on being in a relationship today to the point of asking a 30-something-year-old (wo)man what is wrong if they are not with someone they consider to be a significant other; people will assume something happened to put them off relationships, they will wonder why.
However in a relationship, marriage too hastily is also considered wrong. This too will raise the question of what is wrong, what they need that marriage will provide. If you wait too long, questions will be raised about the compatibility of the two involved, waiting must mean there is a problem. Being married too young is silly, and alternatively, being married too old is simply because time is running out. In a world where this tradition is becoming archaic, and outdated, it seems impossible to win. It seems impossible to keep everyone happy.
I was married and I thought I was in love. However, a part of me knew this wasn’t true. He was a narcissist in the true sense of the word. I remember the day I realized I did not have to stay in the life I had created for myself; even though I was successful.
I should have been happy. Despite knowing that I should be, I wasn’t. It was this point in my life that I really decided to think about my future. I began by looking at what was happening to cause this discontent. The first thing that came to mind was that I was my marriage, the miscarriages I faced on my own, the abuse. I began to think about what I had to show for putting on a front – pretending everything was ok. The degree I was never planning on using, the cars, the house, and all the unnecessary things. None of these made me happy, these things added nothing to my life.
One morning, on my way to work, I heard a quote on the radio. “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of, you will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” It seemed so obvious, yet the concept was so difficult to grasp at first. I was so caught up in achieving what had been drip-fed to me as the purpose of living, I had forgotten about the simplest of things – Something so often overlooked. I did not have to live this life I had created for myself. I had no roots keeping me there, I was not stuck in the situation I had grown to despise. I am, just as everyone else, free to be whomever I want to be.
I left him. I left my material possessions, my friends, and my family. I booked a flight and while part of me wanted to go back, I never really had any intention of returning to that situation. I found happiness in places I never thought to look. The small things like being given a flower to wear behind my ear in Rarotonga by a lovely lady who knew I needed a friendly face to help me through, or finding graffiti with a much needed reminder to be happy when I was falling back into the same trap as before – the mundane life of working a job, and a number of meaningless material things to show for it. The simple things became important, the freedom to do whatever I wanted became an essential part of my life.
Over time I realized the elusive purpose of life was as existent as the purpose of love. There is no reason for being here, there is no need for it. The world will continue even if we are not here – The planet does not rely on us to keep it alive, if anything it would flourish without the toxic results of our “technological advancement”. Being here is a gift, not a chore. We have nothing we, as the human race, need to achieve. Why can’t we live in the moment. Why can’t we live for today. For an intelligent species, we are not very smart.
After this realization, I found I began to live in the moment. I stressed less about things that could not be changed and instead focused on all that was good. I weathered the not-so-good aspects of today realizing it could be worse. I began to take the long way around; Simply to dip my toes in the ocean or to admire the beauty of the world as it is – For no reason at all other than the fact that in the moment, I want to.
What do you think about life, and love? Is there a purpose? leave a comment and let me know and re-blog/share to keep the conversation going.