THAT feeling

Whether we like to admit it or not, we all have moments of heart dropping, gut wrenching panic. Not necessarily enough to cause a freak out, but enough to know it’s there – to raise the question of whether what you are doing is right or not.

Looking through old photos, this was a feeling I was reminded of, and it overshadowed the excitement of the adventure at the time. It made me question whether I was traveling to run away from a problem, or if I was traveling because it was what I have always wanted to do and it was just the timing that was a coincidence.

After some thought I know that it was what I have wanted to do, even talking to my Mother she told me to stop being so silly. Travel is in my blood, it is something that I cannot deny.

I know I have no desire to settle and get a 9-5 “forever” career, you all know that as well as I do….. I never have. The need to be free is strong, and the want to see the world is stronger. Maybe this will change one day, maybe not.

I know that I have to fund the travel I want to do, after all two years wasn’t cheap and I have since bled my savings dry. Was it worth it? Yes – every second. However it means that until I am able to fund the next adventure, I will need to be responsible and work….. Not that it is a problem, I love making coffee so I will be happy doing this until I can leave again.

I know that I am following my heart, and that this will change depending on what my heart wants. One day, my heart might want to settle down, have children, be loved. Until then, I can only do what makes me happy.

I know this isn’t wrong.

So how come I can’t help but question if it is.

I think society’s views on what is normal, while it is changing, doesn’t leave much room for the free spirited wanderers. The need to get a career doesn’t allow for the adventurers to wander the earth purely because they want to. It is as if we are expected to live a mundane life, just as everyone else – all because making coffee to fund an adventure isn’t a ‘career’.

Until I stop caring so much about what other people think, I don’t know that I will ever be entirely happy with my life decisions. This was a big wake up call for me – this has to change.

We all have to change. Stop judging someone on what they do for a job, or how they live their life. What makes someone happy may not be the same that makes you happy, just as someone may not like the same flavor icecream as you do. Life is too short to worry about what other people think, and it is certainly too short to spend time worrying about what other people are doing.

Just do what makes you happy, and the rest will fall into place eventually.

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